As a professional coach and personal development facilitator, let me just affirm how very much I love this time of year; People intentionally reflecting on the previous year with love and gratitude while looking towards a new year with intention and purpose. I adore this precious space where we press the pause button on the daily grind – ever so briefly – and give ourselves permission and celebrate the process of self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-growth.
Cue the un-pause, hit the play button, and life returns to its frantic pace. Those insights, intentions, goals, and resolutions from only a few weeks ago are lost to work schedules, after-school kids shuffle, and hustle and bustle of daily life. In fact, recent studies indicate that most individuals who set New Year’s resolutions struggle to maintain their progress and goal-attainment throughout the year with a whopping 23% of people abandoning their resolutions by the end of the first week, and 43% do so by the end of January. We don’t even hit double digits by the year’s end, with only about 9% of Americans who set New Year’s resolutions feeling successful in keeping them.
Understanding the neuroscience of real change and goal mastery can support us in reaching success and mastering our goals. In this series, Rewire to Rise, we’ll explore some science-backed, researched-based methods that are simple to institute and proven to increase our chances of becoming who we want to be. Let’s begin with identity-based behavior change, emphasizing setting our goals and aligning actions with our desired self-concept.
One way of improving success is to move our focus from “what” we want to do to “who” we want to be, focusing on our identity —rather than solely on “what” we want to do – our behaviors and actions. Research on neuroplasticity (our ability to build new brain pathways) demonstrates that repeatedly acting in alignment with our desired identity strengthens neural circuits, making the behavior more automatic and natural over time. We do things to support who we believe we are – thus, if we see ourselves as being “bad with money”, it doesn’t really matter how many goals we set to save money or spend wisely – who we are – bad with money- will always be who we are as we try to save money. The cognitive dissidence nearly always make our goals feel impossible.
Here’s the big paradigm shift, before you set goals and resolutions let’s consider identity first: Who do you wish to be in 2025? If that question is too big (and for me, it is), consider this: What kind of person would do the things you want to do?
Let’s work through an example:
Goal: Build my savings account and contribute to my retirement account in 2025.
Rather than just getting to work on setting goals to save money and cancel my unused subscriptions, etc.– I will ask myself three identity questions first:
First, what kind of person would have a healthy savings account and be contributing to their retirement account?
My response:
- A person who believes saving is a priority, and a must-do regardless of how much money they make.
- A person who makes saving easy – as in, it’s set up automatically. A certain % of my check goes automatically into a retirement account, a certain % goes into (untouched) savings.
- A person who lives by a motto: For every dollar, I make, 10 cents goes to savings.
- A person who feels comfortable talking about money – learning, asking questions, not knowing, etc.
- A person who believes that saving is possible regardless of the ebbs and flows of money. Some months, I make a lot (so I save a lot), some months I make very little (so I save very little). However, every month I make something and so every month, I save.
Second, if I believed all of this, how would my life be different? Or What makes this important to me?
My response:
- I would feel less desperate about money.
- In fact, I believe I would develop a healthy relationship with money and I’d pass that on to my children.
- I would work from a place of abundance rather than scarcity – not just because I have a safety net but because I have changed my relationship with how I view generating, saving, and spending money.
- My relationship status with money would move from, “it’s complicated” to “Actively involved. Boom Chakalaka! Sizzling!”.
Third, if that was true, what would I be doing?
- Stop thinking that a number in the bank is the goal. Start: I’d set up my paycheck to have a percentage of each and every check go retirement and savings.
- Stop telling myself that I don’t make enough money to work with a financial advisor. Start working with a financial advisor.
- Stop saying, “I’m not good with money” and “Money is the root of all evil”. If I believe this and rehearse this – no wonder my relationship status with money is, “It’s complicated. Start asking, “How do I learn to build my relationship with money?” or, “What would a financially wise person do about this?”
Now…we’re getting somewhere! Right?! Consider how this exercise drastically changes the goals, daily choices, spending behavior, and supportive actions. Rather than asking my short-lived willpower to scrutinize every spending and saving choice through a scarcity lens, I create an identity as a person “in relationship” to money. I’m learning about money and empowering myself with a new identity. I mean, of course I regularly contribute to my savings and retirement – that’s just the kind of person I am. I’m good with money.
As we embark on this journey of self-reflection of 2024 and goal mastery in 2025, it’s essential to remember: true and lasting change begins with who we are, not just what we do. Neuroscience shows us that our brains are built to adapt, grow, and thrive through intentional repetition and alignment with our desired identity. By shifting our focus from fleeting resolutions to deeply rooted identity-based goals, we unlock the potential to create meaningful and sustainable transformations.
So, let me ask you again: Who do you wish to become in 2025? Whether it’s a financially savvy saver, a compassionate leader, or a healthier version of yourself, the pathway forward lies in aligning your daily actions with the person you aspire to be. It’s not about perfection but persistence, rewiring your brain one intentional choice at a time.
Stay tuned for next week’s Rewire to Rise series, where we’ll dive into the art and science of setting goals that truly stick. We’ll explore practical, neuroscience-backed strategies to design goals that not only inspire you but also ignite sustainable action. The best version of yourself is waiting—let’s rise together!
Comment – “R2R” in the comments, and we’ll be sure to let you know when the next article in the series is published.
Using the comment section, let us know, Who do you wish to be in 2025?
