In the first installment of this three-part series, we explored how shifting our focus from fleeting resolutions to deeply rooted, identity-based goals significantly enhances our ability to create meaningful and sustainable transformations. Why is this important? As we enter the second week of the new year, research shows that nearly a quarter of people have already abandoned their 2025 resolutions.
Part one, Rewire to Rise: Ask “Who,” Not “What”, builds a strong foundation that delves into the power of identity-based change and invites us to reflect on three critical questions designed to align our actions with the people we aspire to become:
- What kind of person would we be if we consistently lived out our goals (e.g., traveling more, saving money, cultivating healthy relationships, exercising, and eating well)?
- If we believed we could become that kind of person, how would our lives be different?
- If this were true, what would we be doing?
Building on this momentum, we can continue moving toward lasting growth by uncovering the identity at the core of our goals. This process empowers us to intentionally craft a new vision of who we are or reinforce the identity we seek to embody. To begin, let’s refine this exercise into a clear and empowering “I am…” statement:
I am… Examples:
- I am good with money.
- I am caring for my health through food and exercise.
- I am a calm, present parent.
- I am responsible for my words and actions.
- I am an adventurer.
- I am able to set and maintain healthy boundaries.
As you engage in this exercise, observe your brains’ natural response. You may notice hesitation or resistance to these bold new declarations. For many of us, this exploration of “who” we want to become can feel unfamiliar or untrue. Our inner critics might remind us of past failures, presenting reasons why change isn’t possible. This cognitive dissonance—the tension between who we want to be and who we currently believe we are—is rich with valuable insight.
This tension highlights the path toward sustainable change while also revealing one of the key obstacles to success: if a new, empowered identity does not arise, our existing self-concept—steeped in old habits and doubts—will dominate. Understanding this process is crucial, as it allows us to work with our brains rather than against them.
The Role of Habits
First, much of our current reality is the result of years of habits. While not always the case, our health, finances, relationships, interests, and skills are often shaped by repeated behaviors—what we do, usually without thinking, over and over again.
For example:
- Health: Consistently prioritizing exercise, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep often leads to good physical health, while skipping these practices can result in fatigue or weight gain.
- Finances: Habitual saving and mindful spending can create financial stability, whereas overspending or neglecting budgeting leads to financial struggles.
- Skills: Mastery in any area—whether a musical instrument or professional expertise—results from consistent practice over time.
Second, our brains are wired to favor habits. Habits allow our brains to conserve energy by automating actions, reducing the need for conscious decision-making. Research indicates that 40-95% of daily behaviors are governed by habits and unconscious processes. Once an action becomes habitual, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for deliberate thought) disengages, and the unconscious mind takes over.
Leveraging Mindfulness
Recognizing that we’re working against ingrained habits and neural pathways can be empowering. Understanding that struggling with change is a natural part of the human experience, not a sign of failure, can bring a powerful sense of self-compassion.
We can see that our own inner critic, the palpable tension, and urges to “cheat” on our goals, is well…quite simply…not our fault! We aren’t broken or less than or incapable – we are human. Struggling with change is part of our human experience.
Bringing mindfulness to this process is one of our greatest tools for success.
Mindfulness cultivates present-moment awareness and reduces self-judgment, allowing us to observe and work with habitual behaviors that no longer serve our goals or the identity we are striving to build. Recent research demonstrates that mindfulness-based interventions enhance self-regulation and reduce harmful behaviors, making it a powerful catalyst for sustainable change.
When we encounter tension or resistance during this process, we can pause, remind our worried brain that we are safe, and then, get curious:
- Where do I feel this tension in my body?
- What recurring messages am I noticing?
- What wisdom would my future self offer to my current self about this moment of transformation?
- What kind of support do I need to navigate this deep and powerful work?
Mindful breathwork, such as Box Breathing, is a proven technique to regulate the nervous system and ground ourselves in the present moment. It calms the mind, reduces stress, and creates the mental space needed to move beyond old habits. As we practice being present and curious with our resistance, this simple practice helps us respond to the intentionally rather than reacting impulsively and “mindlessly”.
How to Practice Box Breathing:
- Inhale deeply through our nose for 4 seconds.
- Hold our breath for 4 seconds.
- Exhale slowly through our mouth for 4 seconds.
- Hold our breath again for 4 seconds.
- Repeat this cycle for 4-5 minutes or until the urge or tension subsides.
As we embark on this journey of identifying and claiming our empowered identity, let’s invite curiosity and compassion to the party. The tension we feel is a signal of growth and transformation. Our path to real change is to build our self-awareness so that we notice the tension, stay present with it, and to learn from it.
Next week, we’ll finally set some goals! Stay tuned for how science and research can help us succeed. Please join us on January 22nd in our live, virtual classroom to do this work together. Here’s the link to register: https://yesempower.com/rewire-to-rise/
