Rewire to Rise: Setting the Goals and Daily Habits

Part Three in the Three-Part Series

Let’s recap what we identified in the first two installments in this series:

1. True and lasting change begins with who we are, not just what we do.
2. Neuroscience shows us that our brains are built to adapt, grow, and thrive through intentional repetition and alignment with our desired identity.
3. By shifting our focus from fleeting resolutions to deeply rooted identity-based goals, we unlock the potential to create meaningful and sustainable transformations.
4. Identifying and claiming our empowered identity lets us invite in curiosity and self-compassion.
5. Noticing the tension between who we want to be and who we think we are, is a signal of growth and transformation.
6. Our path to real change is to build our self-awareness so that we notice the tension, stay present with it, and learn from it.

Okay, finally! Let’s set some goals!!!!

To set goals that we’ll actually reach, let’s get clear on what recent research identifies as common errors we make when setting goals. These mistakes are critical to know because they often lead us directly (and quite quickly) to high failure rates of goal attainment. Four of the most significant mistakes include:

1. Setting Goals that are Too Big and Too Fast: By the time we set our goals, we’re usually very ready for change. We want to go from 0 to 60 mph in three seconds—to have a retirement account NOW, lose that weight NOW, or become the BEST partner and get EVERYTHING done EVERY SINGLE day. No wonder we fail at such high rates. Solution: Setting realistic goals with achievable timelines fosters consistent progress and reduces the risk of burnout. Smaller, manageable changes are more likely to be sustained over time. Observe the daily habits that don’t support your goal, celebrate each small step, notice daily changes, and keep the self-critic at bay by activating hope with each small success.
2. Setting Vague or Unclear Goals: Goals that lack specificity fail to provide a clear direction, making it challenging to devise actionable plans. For instance, stating “I want to be more financially stable” is ambiguous compared to “I will put 10% of every dollar I earn into savings.” Solution: Set detailed and measurable goals and action steps. This process is more effective because it outlines precise actions and outcomes. It provides immediate feedback on our progress (or lack there of).
3. Overconfidence in Abilities: Overconfidence in our self-control—like resisting alcohol at a party, avoiding overspending while shopping, or exercising after settling in for the evening—undermines goal attainment. Known as restraint bias, we overestimate our capacity to control impulsive behaviors and lean to heavily on willpower to save us. Unrealistic goals often result in disappointment and waning motivation when they’re not met. Solution: Set up a plan for success by creating systems to leave with as little “choice” as possible. For awhile, choose social engagements that don’t offer alcohol: Rather than meeting a friend for a drink, meet for a walk or for tea. Rather than going home, making dinner, and then trying to work out. Explore what options exist during your workday. Exploring how you can create a goal that is nearly impossible to fail at will help. For example, if I meet my friend for walk in park – where they serve zero alcohol – I will not drink during that engagement. Success!!
4. Not Tracking Progress: Moving towards goals without tracking progress is like heading to an unknown destination without a map. Tracking helps us know what direction we’re heading, how far we’ve traveled, where we got lost, and how we got back on track. Solution: Monitoring progress regularly in a way that works for our individual styles and preferences: Using an app, a paper calendar, or virtual or in-person accountability partner, etc. allows us to recognize improvements and adjust strategies as needed.

Knowing that these mistakes contribute to high failure rates in goal achievement, means that keeping them in mind as we craft our plan is critical to success.

Crafting the Plan

If you’re just joining this series, it’s worth revisiting the first two installments of Rewire to Rise as we’re building off key elements for sustaining change outlined in those articles. Assuming you’ve done the work from R2R #1and #2, you can now clearly and intentionally complete the following statements relative to your goal:

1. I am…
2. If this were true, what would I be doing?

Example from R2R #1 & #2: Goal: Have more money in savings and retirement. Feel hopeful about retiring someday.

1. I am…I am good with money.I am building my savings and retirement account daily.
2. If this were true, what would I be doing?

Stop thinking that a number in the bank is the goal. Start setting up a paycheck deduction to allocate a percentage into savings and retirement.

Stop telling myself I don’t make enough to work with a financial advisor. Start working with one.

Stop repeating negative beliefs like, “I’m not good with money” and “Money is the root of all evil.” Start asking, “What would a financially wise person do?”

Moving Ideas into Action

Choose one of these goals to begin moving forward into a step-by-step plan. More can be worked through later or a plan to do one at a time may be the way forward. Let’s begin with this one:

Goal: Set up a paycheck deduction for 10% into savings and retirement.

• Too Much, Too Fast? Not if I start with just my 401K. I’ll revisit bigger contributions in six months. By the end of this week, I will complete the paperwork with HR to allocate 10% of my salary into my 401K.
• Too Vague, Unclear? Nope, this is clear—a specific deadline, percentage, and system are defined.
• Overconfident? No. By automating contributions, I remove the need for willpower and decisions. If tempted to access the funds, I’ll remind myself that being good with money means leaving the 401K untouched.
• Tracking Progress? I don’t have this in place yet. Ah…here’s my growth area. How do I track progress? What system works best for me – digital, paper? What system can I use or create to support myself in this way? How will tracking positively impact my accountability here? How will I know that I can or can’t put money into savings in 6-months? This is where I’ll begin to set new actions steps for myself: Who will I talk to and when? What research will I do and when? What timeline will I put in place to complete this task?

Habits and Neuroscience

Humanity guarantees that behavior change is challenging. Our brains prioritize safety and predictability over thriving. When presented with the choice to stick with familiar habits or embrace something new and vulnerable, the brain often pushes for the known path.

Research repeatedly shows that while we strive to do our best, our brain’s default is predictability. Approaching change through neuroscience helps break this cycle. Small, consistent changes—like daily habits—create the fastest path to success. For example, if you want to reach 10,000 steps a day, start by parking farther from your destination and walking an extra 20 feet daily. Gradually build from there.

Recognizing and Adjusting Invisible Habits

Our current outcomes often stem from invisible daily habits. Identifying and adjusting these is crucial for behavior change. For instance, I realized my habit of saying, “I don’t have time,” kept me stuck. By noticing where I had small pockets of time, I replaced scrolling on social media with two five-minute walks during the workday. Tracking this change on my calendar reinforced my progress and accountability.

Final Thoughts

Behavior change requires intentionality, curiosity, neuroscience-based strategies, and a focus on small daily habits. By setting clear goals, recognizing barriers, and tracking progress, we create a sustainable path to transformation. Remember: real change happens not in giant leaps but in consistent, purposeful steps forward.